Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Thing about Death

The thing about death... when you're a child, you're shielded from death.  People "go away" or "are asleep" or they "went to Heaven."

When you're older, in your teens, in your twenties, it's something you don't want to think about, you shy away from it, it's something far away that you don't want to touch.

Then when you're older, you realize that it touches you, that your older family members are gone, they are dead, that your father is gone, although not completely gone because others who loved him remember him and in this case, he is indeed in Heaven.

But death reaches to you when you're older, it strikes you, and the grief sort of never leaves you.  You forget it for a while, but then another friend of Dad dies, and then the sadness renews itself into your heart.  The band of four friends, Martin, Dad, Junior and Chu are gone, they are dead.

What do you say to someone whose father or grandfather died?  You want to clean and bind up the wound, but you yourself have one.  At times like these, there are no words.

I will take my silence with me to the funeral and just be there and speak whatever the Lord God puts into my mouth.  

Thank you for reading this......


Lois Evensen said...

All so very true.

Little Wren said...

I lost my mother unexpectedly in a car accident 5 years ago last Christmas and I understand your struggle a little I think. Sometimes I wonder if a silent presence isn't one of the best gifts you can give a grieving heart.

The Polka Dot Closet said...

I always think we are never old enough to lose a parent...never,,, your right it sure weighs heavy as you age. My Mom is 79 and she is losing friends right and left, so hard!